The United States of The Ancient World is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Matt Leaf with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 25.916 billion Ancient Worldians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trinity. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Ancient Worldian economy, worth a remarkable 5,204 trillion Shales a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 200,809 Shales, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's laws on image rights are amongst the strictest in the world, homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, and the distracting décor lining the roads causes multiple pile-ups. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Ancient World's national animal is the Boa Constrictor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Ancient World is ranked 2,929^th in the world and 1^st in Icarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.56 law-abiding acts per hour.